Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Gym funkin’

It had been a long day - really long day outdoors “sightseeing” Singapore. It was both an adventure into very unique parts of the island and discovery these with potential unique angles. And I was introduced to this homegrown coffee place in the middle of the Stirling Road heartlands.

Anyways, seeing that the day had been productive, I decided that the gym was the best place to cap the day by the evening. Rae and Christian remix of Dinah Washington’s Is You Or Is You Ain’t was pumping between my ears as I walked into the hall. It was crowded but comfortable enough that one need not wait long to do whatever he wanted to do.

You will see 4 groups of guys in the gym. The first group belongs to the ones who will be hogging the free weights and in the zone. The second will be the wandering ones that wonder at how the machines work in between awkward reps and gazing at the other guys who are in the same predicament. The third will be the guys who pretend to be “busy” and telling the whole world that they have more important things to do on their smartphones than actually working out. The last will be those that are incessantly taking selfies or socialising with really lousy conversations with other guys who actually want to work out but are too kind to tell the other guy to STFU.

And there was a single unoccupied treadmill at the end of the row of treadmills just opposite the huge tv monitor. Perfect, I thought.

That trombone from Dinah’s funk was on a killer loop. Confidently I stepped onto the machine. I’m on a killer mission. The tv monitor was showing Glenda Chong and Dawn Tan on some random news of the day. But nothing could beat Dinah’s crazy funk.

And that was when this strange whiff of a smell came knocking onto my breathing space. It was a cross between stale alcohol, an early morning mouth that hasn’t been gargled for a month and a set of teeth that hasn’t been brushed with a decent toothpaste for a week. In between Dinah’s funk I was looking around for a dead lizard that could have possibly got stuck somewhere between the motors of the treadmill. Nope, nothing there.

I glanced (okey, looked) at the glass reflection in front of me. The dude next to me was sweating and panting heavily. Every time he exhaled, that special whiff brushed off my face. I tried to ignore, but no, his sexy lung air refused to go away.

While I panted (erm, gulped) and glanced at Glenda Chong and Dawn Tan pouting some very serious news of the world, my mind wondered off to a another dimension where green grasses with new-formed dew lay with hedonistic abandon early in the morning at the little HDB park downstairs and a sea of lemongrass was just starting to ejaculate its fragrance. Also I was hoping that Glenda Chong and Dawn Tan might have noticed the North Face top and Under Armour shorts that clinged onto my wet body curves. (Hey be honest, you’ve got to have some fancy motivation to head to the gym, or any other exercise, okey!)

Joe Claussell remixing Nina Simone’s Feelin’ Good didn’t bring good vibes. I pressed on while Sarah Vaughn was funking her Summertime on the UFO remix. Anita O’Day was swinging with Sing, Sing, Sing by RSL, but I’m not.

My eyes glanced at the next treadmill every time the dude adjusted his buttons on the screen. Hey, he was there exhaling his lungs when I was sauntering into the gym. So at the back of my mind, he should be done 5 mins, 10 mins tops, when I joined him... right?? The guys at Fitness Family would have pushed me to carry ong in the face of mental adversary and lousy oxygen! No pain no gain, for honour and glory! Thus I need to complete this mission.

Sarah Vaughn came back aptly with Fever - funked up by Adam Freeland. I looked at the digital screen. I realised that I’m still surviving at almost 30 minutes. I didn’t have the chance to glance at Glenda Chong and Dawn Tan when I stepped off the treadmill. I trudged away to another corner of the hall.

I took a few *really* deep, refreshing breathers. The air freshener that eluded the treadmill space was a blessing at this point. Blessed are the folks who invented air fresheners. I was still breathing and I felt blessed.

Shirley Horn was inviting herself to Come Dance With Me. Okey, let’s go Ms Horn.

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