Thursday, December 4, 2025

The Makan-dos struggle

If the BBC's Little Britain has Daffyd Thomas, Hendon Camp had moi. 

Being the only Mat in the village, cookhouse food was “catered" - not from the nearby Changi Village Hawker Centre, but catered from another unit down Hendon hill across the road. This was when cookhouse food was still prepared by full time National Servicemen NSF, so it was very much a hit-or-miss affair. The Commando Formation didn’t have a Muslim kitchen then. 

Occasionally when there was early lunch or dinner at the company, I had to wait 10-15mins while the cooks fetch the Muslim meals. In NSF Commando universe, 10-15 minutes was forever.

The rest of the guys would be done eating and already falling in, while I was still sitting alone in my special Muslim corner, staring at my tray. And yes, there were a handful of times the NSF cooks simply forgot (!) to pick up my indented food.

Some nights before a jump or an overnight outfield, the company would have very early dinner. But the cooks across the road either hadn't have indented dinner in their records or hadn’t even started cooking. My commanders would get the CQ to buy mee goreng from the mamak at Changi Village.

A Mamak mee goreng. (The Halal Food Blog)

Five hours later, I’d be running on air, the oily noodles still swirling in my gut while nausea crept up my throat. And we still had another seven hours before breakfast. (That explains my lifelong aversion to mamak mee goreng.) Sometimes I just had bread. 

On long-stay outfields, lunch sometimes arrived piping hot - chicken curry or tomato sambal chicken. Imagine being wrecked from the morning’s activities, sitting under a sad little bush while the midday sun roasted you, and a pot of curry appears. See what it does to your appetite. 

Sometimes the meal was supposed to come with nasi briyani, but the cooks assumed I’d be fine to have the curry chicken or meat with white rice like the rest. So they just brought over the curry or tomato sambal dishes and took the rice from the commando cookhouse.

I remember at one point, one of my non-Muslim mate declared something (I can't recall what) and so had Muslim meals for a very short while before being posted to another unit. I also remember my Indian friends would see the lovely curries and bryanis and try their luck to test the powers that be to try and sneak into my meal.

Things got better during in-camp reservist. By then the unit had proper commercial caterers with separate meals for Muslims and non-Muslims. Every time I sat down to eat, I’d look back with this strange mix of envy and bittersweet pride.

But despite all these meal time yo-yo adventures - the missed meals, the wrong meals, the long awkward waits in my special “Muslim corner" - a soldier still needs fuel. They always say a hungry man is an angry man, and trust me, I had my fair share of both.

Yet something else kept me going.

In between the frustrations were the quiet moments that mattered. Those times when my batch mates slipped over to give a quick pat on the back after a couple of trainers behaved like they never had Malay friends in their life. Or that split second when the section realised, “Eh, his Muslim meal not here…" and you could see the guilt crawl across their faces. That gentle empathy. That sense of responsibility. Their own learning curve on how to look out for a brother whose welfare fell through the cracks.

And honestly, that part warmed me more than the actual food.

Because years later, in every gathering - every meet-up, every post-trail run session, they would instinctively say, “eh, make sure got food for him" or “the hawker place got Muslim food or not?". 

“Don't worry, got Muslim food catered. Please come!"

And every Hari Raya, without fail, the entire company remembered who to wish.

For all the makan chaos, the heart was always there.

Wednesday, December 3, 2025

FHAG 56

It's the 56th anniversary* of the Singapore Armed Forces Commando Formation this week!

A flyer that was used as a prop in the Mindef-commissioned film The Usual.
The picture in the original recruitment flyer was replaced with mine to add personal touch to the story.

Prior to enlistment, I was called up to Dempsey Road (the old Central Manpower Base, CMPB) for physical checks. After the usual tests, they sat me down for an interview.

One question still lives rent-free in my head.

Context: In the late 80s, the woke pakciks and makciks were loudly raising the issue of Malay representation in SAF elite units. For those who don’t know… that conversation was HUGE back then. 

Singapore has since made great strides with Malays in SAF**. Yet ex-Singaporeans overseas regularly make it their mission to harp on the Malay disparity like a broken cassette tape in desperate need of validation. Anyway…

So at the interview, the final question was:
“Which unit do you think you are qualified for? Which unit you want to go?”
Bruh… are you serious? Asking an 18-year-old, freshly awakened in his cultural-socialist phase, which elite unit he wants to be in?

“Oh, I think I am suited for the Commando, F16 pilot or naval commander..!”
Cocky, no irony, no resentment.

I walked out of CMPB feeling strangely emancipated.

It was empowering (as an 18-year old) to be able to speak up to those who still held doubts about Malay loyalty. In my head, that response carried the weight of all the pakciks and abang-abang who, by many accounts, were denied jobs because of what was widely believed to be racial profiling in the early years of National Service. Back then, NS was the green card for employment, and many Malays were said to have been left out of the system.

The woke elderly pakciks who lived through the late 60s and 70s would often share that this gap pushed a whole generation of Malay youths into the drug-rehab and detention pipeline that many recall from that era, if their recollections hold true. (Go Google.)

I remember taking in the fresh air walking down the hill along Dempsey Road toward Holland Road. It felt like some cinematic moment.

It felt surreal when I teared open the National Service enlistment letter to find out I was posted to the 1st Commando Battalion! My two older brothers were posted as unit CQ during their respective National Service. I did not have any adult to speak to about real Commando army experience, other than the films Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) and Commando (Arnold Schwarzenegger).

Fast forward to BMT. I was called to my OC’s office after a few weeks for a “review.” After a bunch of boring questions, he suddenly asked:
“Do you still recognize me?”
“Huh?”
“I was the one who interviewed you at CMPB...”
OC Peh A L, Sir... well played! 

Moral of the story: sometimes you really do get what you wished for.

------------------
*I made a video during the historic 50th anniversary of the formation. Watch it here.

**At the 2025 Singapore's National Day Parade, the Parade Commander was Lieutenant Colonel (LTC) Firdaus Ghazali and LTC Muhammad Iskandar was the lead pilot for three dynamic flight displays involving F-15SG jets. Lieutenant (LTA) Iffa Daniesha was recently commissioned as a naval officer.

Thursday, November 27, 2025

Swimming with dolphins

Some people migrate for a fresh start. Others migrate and carry along their baggage.

It’s like that one toxic relative who loudly announces to the whole clan that they have “cut ties” with your family - complete with the dramatic move to the opposite end of the island just to prove the point. Then they post a photo swimming with dolphins to display emancipation.

But come Hari Raya, they still quietly ask around about your family, then twist whatever updates they hear to fit their own narrative, just so they can justify why they’ve been avoiding you all these years. The more your family progresses, the more they try to dig up dirt… except they only have outdated secondhand info from aeons ago.

After a while, everything they say just sounds like a broken record.

Suddenly they reinvent themselves as the “truth-teller” about a clan they have not lived with in ages. They act like physical distance gives them moral distance.

If cutting ties was supposed to set you free, why are you still doom-scrolling Singapore news like it's your part time job? The dolphins find you repulsive now? Maybe use that energy to actually build your life. Age with some dignity. Be a useful citizen in your new community. 🙃

Or you can visit the Uluru, I heard the rock can be meditative. Or go meet Pauline Hanson in your new haven. 

Unless you choose to stay bitter and vindictive into retirement. That is your business. You are, after all, a grown adult. But honestly, looking at how some rage-bait narratives on Singapore from up North still cling to old grudges, it’s clear that some people carry their baggage everywhere they go.

It’s not about Malays backing Malays blindly. It’s about Singapore Malays calling out ex-Singaporeans who are potentially messing with the rice bowls of Singaporeans back home.

Read articles here (CNA) and here (Berita Harian)



Wednesday, November 26, 2025

Primary School Leaving Examination

Congratulations to all students on their Primary School Leaving Examination results. And to the parents: every kid blooms at their own pace. Some early, some later. What matters is that you’re there, present, walking with them.

Just thought I’d share my PSLE journey. 

For my blue-collar parents in Taman Jurong, PSLE was their kids’ first big chance to level up the family. My older siblings did well and made it to good national schools. I could sense my dad wanting his youngest son to go even further.

When my results came in, it felt like his hope was finally within reach. My grades could get me into any “premiere” school in town. I suspect a small part of him wondered about the cost. Could he cope if I went to one of those atas schools? In the end it was a toss-up between Anglo-Chinese School, Raffles Institution and St Joseph Institution (The Chinese High School was somehow not in the equation). I can’t remember how ACS happened but knowing how forms used to work, maybe alphabetical order decided my fate.

So ACS it was.

My dad was a soft-spoken, unassuming man, didn’t talk much because too tired after a long day at work. He’d just watch us when all the siblings studied at the dining table. But once in a while there’d be that sudden burst of ambition - a calculated, gung-ho “just go for it.” That fire was what pulled all of us out of the blue-collar cycle many pioneer-generation Baweans were stuck in. It was very “get your foot in the door first… worry later.”

I still remember he took 5 days of half-day leave just to send me on that 1-plus hour bus ride from Taman Jurong to Barker Road at Bukit swanky Timah. (There was only one ACS then.) And the weekend before school started, he was studying the school badge like it was a precious artifact. Holding it to the common corridor during daylight, then the fluorescent lamp, then the morning sun. He realised the blue ink had a turquoise shade because the grooves were filled with colour, not just printed.

That image stays with me. A father quietly marvelling at a school badge, maybe trying to imagine a future bigger than the one he grew up in.

I think he shared the same anxiety many parents feel now. He was relieved I cleared that milestone. Maybe he also knew PSLE is a heavy load for a 12-year-old. Maybe he wished kids could just play more. But he also understood that if he ignored the PSLE system entirely, he’d be closing the door that could pull his kids out of the harsher blue-collar cycle, Taman Jurong.

Every generation tries to build one step higher. That was his way.



Wednesday, November 19, 2025

Aba

Today I was shaken by the news of the passing of George Abraham. I hadn’t checked the Commando 1st Company chat group for a few days, so it was a shock to see your face suddenly appear on a funeral notice at 3am. It didn’t feel real.

I’m sorry I can’t make alternate arrangements to see you one last time, brother. Filming is locked in, and I wish it wasn’t.

The first thing that came to mind was the couple of times we did guard duty together. Somehow we always kena that most unpopular prowler shift. But it was during those long, quiet walks that I really got to know you. We clicked. We talked about art, artists, films. all this long before I knew I’d end up in film school. Only after ORD did I find out you were a painter yourself. No wonder our conversations felt different.

And the music. Sail­ing by Christopher Cross. Leader of the Band by Dan Fogelberg. We had so many theories about what those songs meant. In a company full of loud, competitive young men trying to prove themselves, you were one of the few I truly connected with. Your reflective demeanour, your deadpan dark humour - strangely comforting companions on those graveyard shifts.

It’s easy to bond when both of you knew you’re not the “perfect soldier.” You joked about how bad you were at Taekwondo, especially your flexibility. I laughed and admitted my reaction time was hopeless. Maybe that was it - two young artists trying their best in a place that demanded something else entirely. Two outsiders figuring out where we fit.

Maybe it was the salty Changi breeze blowing through Hendon that made us honest. Maybe it was just you.

We were definitely not supposed to sneak walkmans into prowler duty, but we did. And every time Leader of the Band played, these lines always stopped us in our tracks:

A quiet man of music denied a simpler fate
He tried to be a soldier once, but his music wouldn’t wait…

We knew that feeling. Trying to be something the world expected of us, while the art inside refused to stay quiet.

After ORD, our paths drifted. And like many of us, reconnecting became harder as the years went by. Especially when the world I ended up in was 180 degrees away from everyone else’s. But those conversations, that humour, that artist's soul of yours - they stayed.

And now, thinking about you, I realise something:
I wasn’t the only one walking those dark hours with an artist’s heart.

One for the PJI in the sky. 
Rest easy, Aba.
May you find your peace.

Your song lives on in people like me - the ones who were lucky enough to walk those quiet nights with you.


Sunday, November 9, 2025

Grit, Grace, and the Quiet Strength of the Heartland


Took shelter at the neighbourhood library for a bit while the sun burnt outside. The old heartland I'm at is diverse and colourful, including what some might call the grittier side of the estate. Newer, younger residents have moved in, but there's still a fair share from the louder, livelier side of the neighbourhood - the residents whose struggles are sometimes mistaken for indifference.

While I was cooling off, two guys who looked like they needed a little bit of scrubbing walked in, talking loudly on speakerphone via FaceTime.

An elderly lady in the video laughed when told the brothers were in the library.
"Bagus lah!"
"Ah duduk ah korang lama2 dalam situ."
The fan at home is down. It may take some time before "pakcik" gets a new fan.

One of the cats was still missing! To look for it again when they got home.
"Kesian Kiki! Entah makan ke tak"

And don't forget to buy dinner!
"Cik tak larat nak masak hari ni.."
(... more incomprehensible jibes...)

People turned to look at the small disruption that broke the neat orderliness of the space. The older, tattooed one smiled at me, I waved back.

Community isn't always quiet or tidy. It's just different people finding ways to survive the same grind.



Monday, October 13, 2025

Prominent Singaporean Malays



I hold back any pride, humbled to be listed among the 60 notable Malays in the last 60 years alongside trailblazing peers and extraordinary Singaporeans in various fields whose contributions I look up to. I also had the honour to spend some time up close with many while documenting their lives on my documentaries.

Upon reflection I notice many of the individuals were pioneers with roots across the various lands in the Malay Archipelago. They made Singapore home and thrived. Like them, my grandparents crossed seas from Bawean and planted roots here - proof that home is not where you begin, but where you choose to build and belong 🇸🇬

As a filmmaker I’m deeply aware of the cultural weight that comes with being a minority voice in this country. So this listing isn’t something to celebrate, but something to carry. It reminds me of the responsibility to tell our stories with honesty, to open doors for others, and to honour those whose shoulders we stand on. If my work leaves even a small trace of light for those who come after, then it has done its part.
The Prominent Malays of Singapore (PMoS) online portal was officially launched at the National Gallery Singapore.

Jointly developed with the National University of Singapore's Department of Malay Studies and with the support of partners, the Malay Language Council and Berita Harian, this bilingual portal chronicles the remarkable contributions of over 100 influential Malay figures across the arts, community, business, Government, sports and more who have shaped our nation over six decades.

The launch will be followed with a roving exhibition across seven libraries from October 2025 to March 2027, bringing these inspiring stories closer to all Singaporeans!

Discover the Prominent Malays of Singapore online portal here: https://go.gov.sg/nlb-pmos


Sunday, September 7, 2025

Our Collective Spirit



When I was commissioned to make a film for cine65 Season 5 (2019), under the theme “SINGAPURA”, I thought of a Singapore that embraces everyone — a home shaped by many hands, where every contribution matters.

My short film, Sama Sama, was born from that vision: that the story of Singapore is a shared one, built not by a few, but by the collective effort of rakyat Singapura "the Singaporean".


That’s why I was especially heartened to see Sama Sama resonate with President Tharman Shanmugaratnam and Prime Minister Lawrence Wong — both of whom have expressed, with clarity and wisdom, what it means to move forward together as a society.
“Progress means recognising the value in every job – in the trades, crafts, and services, no less than in offices and boardrooms – and ensuring that everyone who contributes to society earns respect and can build a good life.”
President Tharman Shanmugaratnam
(Opening of Parliament Address, 5 September 2025)


“To keep Singapore going, we must be a ‘We-First’ society. Because if everyone only thinks about ‘me’, and puts ‘me’ ahead of ‘we’, then we are finished… But if each of us does our part for the ‘we’ – care, contribute, and look out for one another – then the ‘me’ will thrive and flourish too.”
Prime Minister Lawrence Wong
(National Day Rally, 17 August 2025)
Their words are a timely reminder that we all have a role to play in keeping this home strong. 

I’m grateful that Sama Sama could play a small part in echoing that message.






Saturday, August 9, 2025

SG60 Story

It's a wrap!

There comes a time when a story speaks to you. Not because it is loud, but because it sits quietly close to your heart. You feel it is worth telling, not for spectacle or clicks, but because it holds something we all recognise - the quiet perseverance, the dignity in struggle, the way ordinary lives shape who we are.

We have become so driven by algorithms, by what trends or tests well at the box office. I understand the need for profits, we all do, but we cannot keep ignoring the stories that make us human. And if we are honest, audiences are unpredictable anyway. The biggest hits often come from the least expected places.

AIDIL and ADA JALAN are two of those stories. They have been sitting on the backburner for years, perhaps because they do not fit into easy categories. Perhaps because they are not algorithm-friendly. But perseverance matters. And stories like these, however small or quiet, remind us where we come from. They help us remember what connects us before all the distractions of box office targets and commercial noise.

I am deeply grateful that AIDIL and ADA JALAN found their way forward through the SG STORY microseries project. They have gone through many versions over the years, but one thing has stayed constant - their heart, and the original characters who inspired them.

Sometimes, the stories worth telling are the ones that quietly stay with us, waiting for the right time to be heard.



(The SG60 Story microseries is scheduled to be released from mid September 2025)

Wednesday, July 2, 2025

The Proud Chauffeur

Haji Akhmari bin Ahmat, circa 1950s
(Image courtesy of Hazrul Azhar Jamari)*

This is Haji Akhmari bin Ahmat, a first-generation immigrant to Singapore from Bawean Island, Indonesia. Like so many from that little speck of land north of Surabaya, he braved the rough Java Sea in search of something better, a chance to build a life of dignity for himself and his family.

He arrived in Singapore with almost nothing. No formal education. Just calloused hands, an unbreakable spirit, and the quiet conviction that things could be better here. It was a hard life. But in his heart, this adopted homeland, with all its struggles, still felt kinder than the island he left behind.

Haji Akhmari eventually found work as a driver. It wasn’t just a job, it was his purpose. The best work he ever had. He drove until the day he retired. With that single income, he raised many children who grew up attending good schools, finding good jobs, and becoming good Singaporeans.

He was never merely a "driver". He was a chauffeur in the truest sense, the man trusted to ferry some of Singapore’s most prominent post-colonial tycoons. Name any famous business figure of the era, and chances are Haji Akhmari had once held the wheel for him.

What made him truly remarkable was that he belonged to a unique tradition. Among the first-generation Baweans here, many took up the work of chauffeurs and did it with an almost sacred pride. To them, a car wasn’t just a vehicle. It was a second home. And for the Bawean, the state of your home spoke volumes: a clean, welcoming space was proof of good family, good upbringing, good lineage.

A tired boss stepping into that spotless car was, in a small way, stepping into comfort, into respect, into trust.

Haji Akhmari may never have thought of himself as part of Singapore’s nation-building story. But he was. Like hundreds of other humble, proud Baweanese men of his generation, he showed up every day with quiet professionalism and did his work so well that it elevated everyone around him.

I am honoured to share a story inspired by this vignette of a little-known chapter in our history for SG60. I look forward to telling these stories of resilience, dignity, and the quiet, everyday greatness that built this place.

*(Image courtesy of Hazrul Azhar Jamari, whose generosity keeps stories like his grandfather’s, part of our pioneer generation, preserved as Singapore’s heritage for generations to come.)

A Socio-Economic History of the Early Baweanese Community through Kampung Boyan